Crown Jewel

Hi, gang.


It's been stressful times, as of late. I'm not speaking solely of the moving process; in fact given the potential for stress and heartache in a huge move like that, I think it went amazingly smooth. No, I mean more in the last 8 months or so. Basically, since the time I stopped having a place of my own. It wasn't solely the living situation, though, and I mean in no way to impugn my wonderful housemates. I mean more the external, coincidental factors coupled with being a married couple cast adrift while we weathered the seas of uncertainty.


Times got to be overwhelming.


The little things, the simple pleasures got to be reassurances. I liked being able to cook a meal. I'm no foodie, but I am a growing sous-chef to my better half, who has become a talented chef on her own. Most of our free time was spent preparing meals and dissecting what made things good. She reads cookbooks like literature. I try to keep up, but mostly my skills have favored pouring wine and doing dishes. One little bonus we had lost was the ability to watch copious DVR'd shows from the Food Network and the Cooking Channel. Honestly I think it was about the only TV my better half would watch, save the occasional Simpsons or Daily Show. So being without a kitchen staple, missing the lovely white noise of those specific shows, took a toll.


There was a life raft, though.


While we had no cable to speak of, we had access to the local PBS-esque affiliates. Turns out, on a regular basis they show cooking and food related programming. The best of the best? Our cream of the crop? Old episodes of Julia & Jacques Cooking At Home. It's a bit dated, being filmed and broadcast in 1999, but it is all kinds of awesome. So while we go about our business, getting settled in our new home, we make sure we tune in whenever possible.

In short, it's a classic cooking program and Julia Child is every bit as legendary as you'd expect. She was 86 when they filmed these! That she would have the gumption to still shoot these instructional shows, with the energetic yet patient Jacques Pepin, is nothing short of incredible. One cannot help but admire her spirit and passion, even past the point most others would have simply retired and coasted. No, Julia Child is amazing. She's totally the embodiment of all the parodies and jokes and SNL skits. She's so sincere and genuine that you can't help but find her endearing. Whether or not my palate can handle the amount of cream and white wine in her recipes, the shows are still a sight to behold. There's nothing quite as astounding as seeing a woman as old as your grandmother grab a gargantuan meat cleaver and hack a gigantic fish in two, without skipping a beat. Nothing broke her composure. She was super fun. Plus, I'm learning just from watching.

The stress will alleviate over time, certainly as we get more boxes unpacked and more things put away. In the meantime, we can cook with the limited means we have available and tune in to these hidden gems from a generation ago. If this is suburban living, I'll take it. Even if it means doing more dishes until our furniture is delivered.

Pie Hole

Here's a story I never get tired of sharing: 

A friend of mine (who shall remain nameless) defies convention by being a single, dude's dude who loves to bake. 


One Sunday, after a night of spirited imbibing and more than a few hairs of the dog that bit him, he decided to alleviate his condition by baking himself a pie. All Sunday this guy slaves away in his kitchen while watching the Vikings lie down on the field. He gets the crust, whips up the filling from scratch, does the whole nine yards for himself. 


One dude, one pie. I love it. 


This guy's gung ho about making this pie for himself, thinking everything's going to be all right if he can just get some sugary, home-baked goodness into him. I can't blame him, it sounds great. 

So he gets his blueberry pie all made up, it's in the oven and baking. He's still a little under the influence when he takes it out and sets the still-hot-to-the-touch pie on the counter to cool. Knowing it's only for himself (which I love, he had no intention of sharing it with anyone, even his best friend who lived just across the hall), he gets out the sugar and coats the top of the pie with a gorgeous, heady amount of confectioner's sugar. 


He waits. 


The pie cools. 


The game ends. 


The Vikings have lost once again. He goes over to the counter to cut himself a giant slice of this delicious homemade pie. Plates it, gets a drink and plops back down on the couch to indulge. Takes one massive forkful and immediately spits it back out. In his still-hazy baking, he mistakenly grabbed the salt instead of sugar. Crestfallen, he shakes his head and dumps the entire pie into the garbage. 


A Sunday wasted. 

When he told us this tale of baking gone wrong, my better half asked him "Couldn't you just scrape the salt off the top and still eat it?" 

His response was a frustrated "Nah, I salted the shit outta that pie." 

Year End

...and with that, we draw to a close.


It's been one insane year. I don't know about you, but I am about to start getting duded up for a costume party. Lots to do and miles to go, etc. I've really enjoyed writing for this site every day (or as often as possible, as the occasion would permit). Sometimes it has been a snap, when coming up with ideas. Other times I've had to push myself to get an idea out there. One little trick has been to keep a running list of things I want to cover and write about, in case the well ran dry or inspiration never struck. As a result, there have been some things I've wanted to do longer posts on but have never been able to fit in to the schedule. So rather than force a bunch of half-hearted ideas and arbitrary posts, I thought I'd just run through them all in one shot, to show what could have been. 


In no particular order, here are the ideas and things I wanted to write about and will be culling from the year's to-do file:


The Goonies - I wrote about the soundtrack, but never mustered the wherewithal to really dig into why I love this childhood staple so much. Still a favorite of mine, all these years later.


Despicable Me - Super fun and overlooked. An adorable, surprisingly funny movie with Steve Carrell and Jason Segel providing voice work. Mad scientists doing wacky stuff.


Ectopiary - A crazy, long running web comic that only gets better and better. Free and not for the faint of heart.


The Elephant Vanishes - A great collection of short stories by one of my favorite authors. Simply too overwhelming to attempt to unpack the myriad of ideas put forth.


Bioshock - This amazing game got me into the modern era of videogames after holding out for about five years. Astounding and groundbreaking in every way. A must play, if you missed it (like I did).


Earthbound - My favorite old school SNES game. The internet already had enough articles about this quirky and idiosyncratic masterpiece.


Lunds Sandwich - No joke. Didn't want to be another food blogger, but this thing had turkey, cranberry mayo, swiss and bacon on cinnamon bread. I was in heaven every time I had it. 


That about does it for 2011. It's been phenomenal for me. Thank you so much for reading. I'll see you on the other side. Happy New Year!

Spotty Weather

Alright, gang - it's movie week. I'm calling it.

Instead of spending my posts positing about unheard or under-appreciated albums of yesteryear I'm going to delve into movies for the next week, writing about some forgotten or overlooked gems that deserve just as much love as the musicians. Think of it as an experiment or a broadening of horizons. IF you love it, gravy. If you hate it, it's only a week, so no worries. Strap in, then, as we draw back from science fiction ever-so-slightly and look at a more recent, more family friendly flick, Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs.

I know what you're thinking. "Really? A movie based on that children's book? Why not just make a movie about Candyland, while you're at it?" Well, the powers that be in Hollywood are already working on that, and in my defense - Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs is good. Like, really, really good. I honestly wouldn't have given it the time of day were it not for a write-up on sci-fi emporium io9, which basically sold me on the movie. I, like many others, had dismissed it as just another schlocky, CGI'd kid's movie that was probably done on the cheap for a quick buck. What reason would I have to suspect otherwise? It was when I read the io9 article explaining how it was the stealth sekritbest science fiction movie of the summer that I thought about giving it a second look, and I was really glad I did.

 We all loved the book, growing up, right? But there's not a lot to it, so I assumed there would be some fleshing out of details to create a decent plot. Turns out the script writers created a believable and charmingly funny world out of the bare-bones plot established by the children's book. To condense the entire plot without spoiling all the fun, an optimistic but terribly unlucky young inventor named Flint has been struggling with failure and not achieving recognition for some of his more...unusual creations. Creations like spray-on, permanent shoes, rat-birds and a thought-translator for his pet monkey, Steve. Eeking out an existence with his gruff but loving father in the island/town of Swallow Falls, Flint has grown tired of the sardine-based lifestyle everyone living there depends on, from tourism to horrible meals. So he sets out to fix it with a water based food generator, "Flint Lockwood's Diatomic Super Mutating-Dynamic Food Replicator" (or the FLDSMDFR) . Something gets supercharged, the experiment goes wrong and soon food is raining from the sky. A plucky young weather girl comes to report on the bizarre occurrences and a romance of sorts begins. Soon, though, larger and larger portions begin to rain down and something must be done to save the tiny town of Swallow Falls. I know it sounds like I may have had a stroke while writing this last bit here, but trust me, it's an absolutely wonderful movie that is surprisingly funny and incredibly well done, especially in the overstuffed market of family affair, computer generated comedies. 

The voice acting is a major part of what makes this movie so great. SNL alum and ubiquitous modern comedy star Bill Hader delivers a genuine performance as the endearing but constantly-failing Flint. Anna Faris and her distinctive comedy timing compliment the romantic subplot as well as the main drive of the film. Neil Patrick Harris provides the voice of Steve the monkey, in an amusing cameo. Andy Samberg channels his energy into the local child celebrity-turned-washed-up adult Brent, showing his schtick through his vocal chords instead of his flailing body language, for a nice change. There's a cop whose small but significant role made me look him up to verify it is indeed Mr. T providing the voice. Also - Bruce Campbell as The Mayor! The acting is all very energetic without being manic, the characters possessing some genuine motivation despite the outlandish settings and scenes. 

Visually, the film is astounding. There are times, when watching, that you'll see food and think "I wanna eat that" before you realize it's not real. So often you'll see CGI movies that have clearly phoned it in, getting by on the barest production values. Not so much here - the settings are down-to-earth towns and buildings, the people just a tad cartoony (deftly avoiding the uncanny valley) and the action set pieces are executed insanely well. This movie is filled with little moments that make me go agog, staring at something like the fluid waves of a Jello castle or a garbage can in an alley, thinking "this looks way too good for this movie." It's even better in Blu Ray, to boot. There are tons of blink-and-you-miss-it gags to be found that make repeat viewings fun, as well as some incredibly funny call back jokes that made me howl. Some favorite moments, without divulging too much: the jello castle, young Flint and his permanent shoe disaster, the runaway TV, and anything involving Steve and his obsession - gummy bears. 

I know I started movie week off yesterday with some hard sci-fi. Hopefully this recommendation is a little more middle of the pack, but it still shows its nerd-loving, brainy roots at its heart. It's smart, funny, well made and well acted. Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs slipped under the radar a bit when it came out in theaters, but it's totally worth watching, trust me. It is available on Netflix Instant, but do yourself a favor and watch it in HD to really get a sense of what I'm talking about. You won't be disappointed. 

Short and Simple

Hello kids!

Like I thought, today was a busy and frenetic day, resulting in no proper post. I do feel bad about it, no doubt. My own life is interfering with my ability to post consistent, quality content. That doesn't mean I can't put something up, though. I just won't ramble on for 1000 words without a clear vision. Low time means low volume, as it is.

So what's a short and simple rave about something I love and think everyone needs to know about? 

Easy, Breville's Panini Press!

A gift from some very kind and thoughtful people, this piece of magic will absolutely change the way you cook. Whether or not you love a good sandwich (but who doesn't love sandwiches? WHO!?) this thing will make you want to live off of nothing but breads and cheeses. I can't even tell you how many meals I have made that involve only pumpernickel-rye bread, Gruyère and a little olive oil. Okay, there's typically some red wine in there as well, but it pairs so well!

It's so easy and simple to make unbelievably fantastic food with the Panini Press. It's like an over-sized Foreman Grill and I mean this in the best possible way. Throw the sandwich in, give it a couple minutes and presto - a delicious little dinner. Your options are limited only by your imagination. This morning, I may or may not have tried to make a panini with an egg in it...

You can do other things in it besides sandwiches. I have tried burgers but the ensuing clean-up was a bit more than the pay-off in my mind. Regardless, this is an excellent addition to any kitchen. While not a bargain by normal definitions, I feel like it's worth the price of admission. If you, like any sane human, enjoy the "adult's grilled cheese" as my friend Sam calls them, give it a whirl.

Tomorrow brings another normal week. Content should come back to more of a consistent, quality level we've all grown accustomed to. I appreciate your patience for these truncated updates. Stick around, I'll see you tomorrow!

Homeward bound

Tonights the last night in San Fran. Massive day today, went to Mission Beach Cafe for breakfast, where I had the best breakfast I've had in months. They make everything they serve in house, from the english muffins to the awesomely spicy sausage. The sandwich I had had bacon and caramelized onions in a sweet and salty mix that was sublime.

Took the cable car from one end to the other, had some seafood. Went by Lombard street, walked all over the city. It was a non stop, go-go tourist day. Honestly I love this city, from everything I've seen. At the same time I can't stand these half-posts, its frustrating to not be able to write a proper post. As insane as it is to go back to the frozen tundra I look forward to being able to use a keyboard like a normal adult. Give it time. Tomorrow may be a day of travel and time zone changes but I think I can fit one in.

I wait with baited breath.

Pig Cone

Still in San Fran, limited posting options ensue. I was testing my better half about what she would recommend for a good bite. She texted me:

"pig cone"

I was convinced it was a typo until I spoke with her. It's definately a thing. Boccalone deli in the Ferry building in downtown SF. Their business card describes their work as "Tasty Salted Pig Parts." Straight forward and dead on, they do delicious cured meats. The cone I had was slices of prosciutto, salumi and other stlyes of pork that were crazy good. A sharp contrast to the sinful food I ate during the game. Yes, I watched.

This is gonna be the cutoff point, typing on my phone is not as conducive as I want it to be. More sober, less passion. Such is life. California is gorgeous.

Curried Favor

It's cold. It's freezing. It's dark.


How does one survive? Why do we persist in this cold?


It's Minnesota and it's not July, basically.


We get by on hot food, that's how!


While I could write passionate volumes about the wonderful curry dinner my better half prepared tonight, the real impetus for today's piece is the origin for the amazing dinner. Over the past several years, the fiancée and I have been slowly but steadily expanding our palates along with our culinary capabilities. Thankfully our efforts have paid off, as we not only have enjoyed some unusual and delicious dishes as a result but her abilities as a cook have also grown beyond what I could ever have hoped. In short, I am amazed on a regular basis by what she can pull off using only our meager kitchen and pedestrian supplies. Her skill and ability is both completely a natural, ingrained trait and a signifier of what can happen when you have passion for a craft. Our meals are exquisite and confoundedly healthy. What I'm saying, in short, is I am a very lucky man and I eat like a king. Tonight's curry exceeded even my expectations and it was only possible because of one of Minneapolis' best kept secrets.


That secret?


United Noodle.

Located across the street from another mind-blowing, yet-to-be-written-about secret, Coastal Seafoods, United Noodle is an Asian Supermarket stacked to the rafters with rare, unusual and imported foodstuffs. It's the kind of place you want to simultaneously keep as a secret and scream from the rooftops. You'll find everything inside, from little imported (and awesomely/endearingly mistranslated) candies and cookies, to anything you would need to make a full on feast - squid, nori, pickled ginger, fish sauce. You see how I can start down a rambling, evangelizing path? I just start thinking about all the weird and crazy things they offer and my mind wanders. My fiancée explained it to me before I went there by saying "You could wander around for hours just looking at all the stuff and not get bored." The crazy thing? She's absolutely right. I can go in with a list of specific things to get and twenty minutes later I'm smirking at strange sodas written in Mandarin and thinking "I bet I could make a hell of a cocktail with this..."


The staff is incredibly friendly and helpful, as well. On more than one occasion we have been wandering around, searching for a specific kind of hot curry paste, and they not only help us find it but then stick with us for the rest of our list, making excellent suggestions and substitutions. Even more amazing is the fact that, despite the rare nature of the store, it is surprisingly inexpensive. For what we'd pay at a certain market for entire, or 'whole' foods, you get two or three times the amount of organic, healthy food (provided you know what you're shopping for).


United Noodle is a wonderful, hidden gem of the Twin Cities and it shouldn't be - it should be a widely recognized institution of Asian cuisine. You name it, it's there. Awesome food, courteous staff and a mind-boggling variety of palate pleasers. do yourself a favor if you're within 100 miles of the Twin Cites - head to 2015 East 24th St, in Minneapolis. Just make sure you pick up some rice balls with strawberry bean jam filling in the frozen section.


Bon appetit!