Evening, kids.
A brief word about tonight's post - the title is, to be blunt, stolen from a 30 Rock joke about horrible cereals. I found it fitting for the subject matter, because like stealing jokes, minigames are often mindless, lazy and derivative. There are times, though, when no matter how capable you may be or how broad your palette may be, you just want mindless, stupid laughs. That's where minigames come in.
To be honest I'm not a devoted advocate of the much maligned yet massively popular format. Certainly the Wii helped popularize them. Indeed there seems to be a glut of shovelware these days - just games crammed into the checkout aisle next to candy-bars and bottle soda, eager to swindle you out of $10 and your respect for the gaming industry. Not all minigame collections are inherently bad; more to the core of the issue not all are created equal. One of my favorite of the genre is a comparative antique - the launch title for the original Xbox, Fusion Frenzy. I loved making drinking games out of the 60-second intervals of frantic gameplay the inexpensive title brought in college. Simple games that mimicked the Powerball game from American Gladiators or the one in which you either jump over or duck under hurtles and pipes as they come flying toward your character - these were great for a little levity before heading out on a Friday or Saturday night with friends. While it is common place now, a few rounds of Halo wouldn't have quite the same jovial effect on our group of friends. Some mindless button mashing, timed to ever-changing patterns and reflex tests? Super fun when beer is added to the mix.
But not all minigames are for parties. One of my favorites that brought me much secret joy over the years (again, in college) was found in an obscure old title for SNES and the Genesis. There were a lot of winter nights as a student in which I would be done with my studies (sort of) and home with nothing good (free) to do. My better half attending University 1000 miles away, I had to while away the time doing something while we chatted on the phone, growing closer as we broke down the details of our respective days. When I wasn't spending these conversations cooking Ramen or pizza rolls (a habit I have mercifully quit in the last six years) I would fire up my copy of the long-forgotten Simpsons tie-in Virtual Bart and play a particular game.
The Simpsons, Gospel though they may be, have a terrible track record for video games. Almost every single one has been a dismal, unquestionable failure, and yet I have played so many of them with so much patience. Virtual Bart was just another in a long line of stinkers with Bart-branding, skating by on it's merchandising license. The central concept was that Bart straps in to a Virtual Reality machine at a Springfield Elementary Science Fair and all kinds of wacky hi-jinx ensue. Most of the games were awful and too simple to be fun, even for a minigame.
One game, though, I could not turn away from. It was, for lack of a proper title, a shooting gallery. Bart simply stands outside the school before the Science Fair and hurls tomatoes at his classmates, getting points for every one he hits. As you progress authority figures show up, wandering back and forth through the scenery and blocking your targets. That's it - no big concept. No major threat, no big reward. Just try to nail Rod and Todd Flanders with tomatoes. I was completely hooked. More than once I would exclaim "YES!" while on the phone with my eventual wife. When questioned on it I would have to explain why I was so excited to have pegged Ralph Wiggum. She understood my excitement and that is why I married her.
Not all gaming has to be high-brow, expensive execution. Sometimes all you need is a simple, gratifying execution of concept. Time your throws and take aim - that's all you need to blow off a little steam and kill a cold, lonely winter night.
A brief word about tonight's post - the title is, to be blunt, stolen from a 30 Rock joke about horrible cereals. I found it fitting for the subject matter, because like stealing jokes, minigames are often mindless, lazy and derivative. There are times, though, when no matter how capable you may be or how broad your palette may be, you just want mindless, stupid laughs. That's where minigames come in.
To be honest I'm not a devoted advocate of the much maligned yet massively popular format. Certainly the Wii helped popularize them. Indeed there seems to be a glut of shovelware these days - just games crammed into the checkout aisle next to candy-bars and bottle soda, eager to swindle you out of $10 and your respect for the gaming industry. Not all minigame collections are inherently bad; more to the core of the issue not all are created equal. One of my favorite of the genre is a comparative antique - the launch title for the original Xbox, Fusion Frenzy. I loved making drinking games out of the 60-second intervals of frantic gameplay the inexpensive title brought in college. Simple games that mimicked the Powerball game from American Gladiators or the one in which you either jump over or duck under hurtles and pipes as they come flying toward your character - these were great for a little levity before heading out on a Friday or Saturday night with friends. While it is common place now, a few rounds of Halo wouldn't have quite the same jovial effect on our group of friends. Some mindless button mashing, timed to ever-changing patterns and reflex tests? Super fun when beer is added to the mix.
Not all gaming has to be high-brow, expensive execution. Sometimes all you need is a simple, gratifying execution of concept. Time your throws and take aim - that's all you need to blow off a little steam and kill a cold, lonely winter night.
